phew, that was a close one

Yesterday was Memorial Day. It was a perfect day in every sense. Not a cloud in the sky, warm--but not too warm, on the river with my family who seldom co-exists in harmony but yesterday got along well, laughing over food, drinks, and boat rides. To make it more perfect, it was an entire day spent with Jeff and Grace without any responsibilities or hassels. Grace took her first boat ride which she would have emjoyed more had she not been so tired; she actually fell asleep toward the end. Uncle Italo went really fast, bouncing us around a bit on others' wakes (he insisted he didn't do it on purpose, but I know him too well to believe that!). She played with Natalie and Genna in the grass, ate way too many Gerber Graduate Puffs, and loved watching the flags on the marina flap in the light breeze.

I wrote when I began blogging that being pregnant was an opportunity for me to look forward and reflect back on my life at the same time. Yesterday presented me with another interesting opportunity to do that. In fact, I would even say that this perfect day was really contextualized in my past--a past that, had I not lived it in the precise way that I did, I could not be as content and as blessed as I feel that I am now with the life I have today. (Okay, just a warning. I'm about to venture back into my pre-Jeff life).

You see, our picnic was at Sandy Beach Yacht Club where Italo is a member. For several years before I met Jeff, I dated M., whose family also belongs there. While dating M. I spent many summer days at that club. So I was not completely surprised when we arrived yesterday to see M. and his family also enjoying the beautiful spring day on the river. Everyone was pleasant (with the exception of M. and his sister J. who have a penchant for being UNpleasant), "hellos" and "how are yous" were exchanged, with many remarks on how beautiful our little Gracie is. This run-in, thankfully, did little to hamper our day or dampen my spirits. Instead, it made me realize what my life could have been in the context of what it is now. The issues that led to the ending of my relationship with M.(which I won't recount here) were very much present yesterday, and I could see that even from far across the large patio and empty tables that separated us. I couldn't help think--if even for a fleeting moment--about what my life could have been had I not ended that relationship when I did. Would I have been sitting at that table, with those people on this very day? I felt as though I'd narrowly escaped a wreck. Like when you're driving and accidently cut someone off on the thruway. They get mad and give you the finger, but all you can do is thank God that He protected you from a life-altering collision.

As I watched Jeff holding Grace as she whined in the warm sun I couldn't help but to thank God. I thanked God for M.'s "issues" that had a hand in moving me to Warsaw, for the complexities of that relatioship that allowed me to see the good, the kind, and the wonderful in Jeff, and for every life experience--bad and good--that put me right where I am now.

There are many lessons to be learned in this crazy life. Some lessons are learned years and years after a life-changing event--we can only see pain at the time, but when we look back we see that it was all a giant blessing in disguise. Our biggest hearbreaks can turn out to be life's greatest blessings. In my early 20s, the most hurt I had ever been was in the let-down of learning who M. really was. Pushing 30 now, I can see that there has been no blessing in my life greater than my husband and my daughter. And without the heartbreaks that got me here, I could never have achieved so much happiness.